It’s hard to predict how you will respond emotionally while undergoing your transplant. You are a unique individual, and your emotional responses will depend to a large extent on who you are as a person, your overall mental health, your inner strength, your support system, the severity of your myeloma, and your overall physical health. 

Most likely, your emotions will correlate, to some extent, with how you respond medically to the transplant. On days when your transplant team is pleased with your progress and you feel better physically, it is likely that you will feel more hopeful and better emotionally. In contrast, if you are experiencing medical complications and not feeling well, it is normal to experience a variety of emotions including anxiety, fear, anger, a sense of hopelessness, depression, discouragement, and a loss of control. It is not unusual to sometimes question your decision to have undergone a transplant, have some regrets, and wonder if it will all be worth it.

Also, don’t be surprised if your sense of identity and feelings of self worth undergo a change, and you feel more fragile emotionally. Some patients feel less valued as an independent, functioning person, and you may feel increasingly helpless. Additionally, you may feel a sense of loneliness and isolation.

At all times, remind yourself that a variety of feelings and emotional highs and lows are normal, and there is no right or wrong way to feel while undergoing your transplant. It’s important to remember that most of the negative feelings you are experiencing are temporary, and you will soon feel better when you are home and on your road to recovery and greater independence. 

As much as possible, try, even at the most difficult moments, to remain positive and hopeful and keep your focus on the reasons you elected to undergo the transplant and on your medical goals. At all times, be honest with yourself about what you are feeling, and, if you are struggling emotionally, reach out to someone you trust, such as your caregiver, a close family member or friend, your Myeloma coach, or a member of your medical team. Professional help is always available so don’t hold your feelings inside and struggle alone!