A Mother-In-Law's Care: A Caregiver Story

Linda has been caring for loved ones since she was a young child. From the ages of 10 to 14, she cared for her mother, who had heart problems. Later, she became a nurse. She had always done everything she could to help anyone in need. Then, in June of 2023, the unthinkable happened. Her daughter-in-law DeeAnn was diagnosed with multiple myeloma at age 34 after giving birth to her second child. Linda shared her caregiving experience with HealthTree.

This month, HealthTree Foundation is sharing your stories of caregiving and celebrating caregivers for National Family Caregiver Month in November.

Advocating for a loved one starts from the beginning

In June of 2023, my beautiful daughter-in-law DeeAnn was diagnosed with multiple myeloma months after giving birth to our last grandchild. She had never fully recovered from the c-section like she did with her first child. She was always fatigued and anemic and just felt like something wasn’t right. Her doctors were ignoring her symptoms as postpartum issues, but I encouraged her to see an internist. They did the correct screening lab work and sent her to a hematologist. 

DeeAnn was 34 at the time and a mom of two small children. We were all devastated. My son thought he was going to lose his young wife, and I became the caregiver for her and my grandchildren. They all lived with my husband and myself.

Education and knowledge are key for caregivers

I knew very little about multiple myeloma, so I read everything I could about the disease and its treatments because I knew we had to save her from it. DeeAnn and I are very close, and I had helped her after some previous surgeries. She trusted me. I was consumed with making sure she survived the induction treatments and the stem cell transplantation. She did reach minimal residual disease (MRD).

Because of her young age and how rare it is to develop myeloma at that age, she had many challenges that were different than older myeloma patients. We knew we would be on a different path with this disease because of her severe reactions and side effects to the treatments. They were so toxic to her that I had to do constant research to find non-traditional methods to combat them and allow her to continue treatments. I felt that I sometimes had to protect her from the medical community.

Dee was in survival mode for most of the initial months of her treatment with extreme fatigue and battling the side effects, so I took care of everything else. She struggled every day. I didn’t want her to lose hope. I will never forget being with Dee every day for a month at the hospital where she had her stem cell transplant. It was pretty horrible and, thankfully, she was so sick she has very little memory of the experience. I unfortunately remember every minute of it. I kept a journal of the experience.

What Linda learned as a caregiver

Caregiving has taught me that I have good instincts with how to navigate the healthcare system and Dee’s medical and emotional needs. I also learned that caregivers need to learn to take care of themselves with counseling and self-care measures. I didn’t take care of myself for about nine months. When I realized it, I did start to make time for self-care and it made a very positive difference.

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