When my husband, Todd Kennedy, was diagnosed with multiple myeloma at the age of 52 on December 26, 2017, it was completely out of the blue and threw our whole family for a loop. Over the first year, we were in survival mode:
It was an all-consuming whirlwind, with the primary focus being on Todd’s survival, and then fitting in moments of “old-life normalcy” as best we could.
We thought we understood the “myeloma is a marathon” concept people shared with us. We paced ourselves, ran the race, and anticipated a medal at “the end” – expecting we would get back to our normal lives.
For myeloma patients, however, the race keeps going, and sometimes, returning to or continuing with previous jobs or favorite activities/hobbies is not possible or is against the doctor’s recommendations. So then what?
First, any changes that are forced upon us are usually viewed negatively. It is wise to recognize that anger, sadness, and resentment are normal, and enlist the help of a social worker or counselor who works with cancer patients and their loved ones. Trained professionals can help you process the array of feelings you are experiencing and teach you coping skills.
Second, consider finding, adjusting, or renewing your purpose/mission in life. Having purpose/meaning may not only bring joy back into your life, but studies show it also helps you live longer. (When you are fighting cancer, anything that helps you live longer sounds like a good idea!)
During a Wellness Seminar at ASH 2023, Michael R. Mantell, PhD, cited numerous studies conducted by the National Institute of Health that concluded people who could identify what their purpose was lived longer. (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6632139/)
Dr. Mantell, who is the author of the book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” recommended participants use "the GLAD Technique" as they pursue purpose.
Dr. Mantell explained that when people have a sense of purpose, they tend to have more optimism, resiliency, and hope. They report experiencing joy, happiness, and satisfaction more often and have an increased sense of belonging.
In the workplace, they report greater career satisfaction, a greater likelihood of being a leader, and have a higher income. All of that, plus they have better physical health and a lower risk of death.
The Japanese word “ikigai” translates to “reason of being.” Dr. Mantell shared this graphic to further illustrate the concept of finding your purpose at the intersection of your passion, mission, vocation, and profession.
Todd and I believe that through adversity, we have found a greater purpose. We left our primary careers earlier than planned due to his myeloma diagnosis, but we now work together in cancer advocacy and various volunteer opportunities. We are HealthTree Myeloma Coaches, and we co-lead the Pacific Myeloma Community.
Whether you have an existing purpose that makes you GLAD or are in search of something new, Dr. Mantell shared these wise words, “If it is to be, it begins with ME.” Making time to pursue or renew your purpose, is a gift that will keep on giving.
Would you like to watch ASH 2023 myeloma research interviews from the investigators themselves? Click "ASH 2023" here: HealthTree University Conference Coverage
To read other ASH 2023 articles, click here: HealthTree 2023 ASH Articles
When my husband, Todd Kennedy, was diagnosed with multiple myeloma at the age of 52 on December 26, 2017, it was completely out of the blue and threw our whole family for a loop. Over the first year, we were in survival mode:
It was an all-consuming whirlwind, with the primary focus being on Todd’s survival, and then fitting in moments of “old-life normalcy” as best we could.
We thought we understood the “myeloma is a marathon” concept people shared with us. We paced ourselves, ran the race, and anticipated a medal at “the end” – expecting we would get back to our normal lives.
For myeloma patients, however, the race keeps going, and sometimes, returning to or continuing with previous jobs or favorite activities/hobbies is not possible or is against the doctor’s recommendations. So then what?
First, any changes that are forced upon us are usually viewed negatively. It is wise to recognize that anger, sadness, and resentment are normal, and enlist the help of a social worker or counselor who works with cancer patients and their loved ones. Trained professionals can help you process the array of feelings you are experiencing and teach you coping skills.
Second, consider finding, adjusting, or renewing your purpose/mission in life. Having purpose/meaning may not only bring joy back into your life, but studies show it also helps you live longer. (When you are fighting cancer, anything that helps you live longer sounds like a good idea!)
During a Wellness Seminar at ASH 2023, Michael R. Mantell, PhD, cited numerous studies conducted by the National Institute of Health that concluded people who could identify what their purpose was lived longer. (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6632139/)
Dr. Mantell, who is the author of the book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” recommended participants use "the GLAD Technique" as they pursue purpose.
Dr. Mantell explained that when people have a sense of purpose, they tend to have more optimism, resiliency, and hope. They report experiencing joy, happiness, and satisfaction more often and have an increased sense of belonging.
In the workplace, they report greater career satisfaction, a greater likelihood of being a leader, and have a higher income. All of that, plus they have better physical health and a lower risk of death.
The Japanese word “ikigai” translates to “reason of being.” Dr. Mantell shared this graphic to further illustrate the concept of finding your purpose at the intersection of your passion, mission, vocation, and profession.
Todd and I believe that through adversity, we have found a greater purpose. We left our primary careers earlier than planned due to his myeloma diagnosis, but we now work together in cancer advocacy and various volunteer opportunities. We are HealthTree Myeloma Coaches, and we co-lead the Pacific Myeloma Community.
Whether you have an existing purpose that makes you GLAD or are in search of something new, Dr. Mantell shared these wise words, “If it is to be, it begins with ME.” Making time to pursue or renew your purpose, is a gift that will keep on giving.
Would you like to watch ASH 2023 myeloma research interviews from the investigators themselves? Click "ASH 2023" here: HealthTree University Conference Coverage
To read other ASH 2023 articles, click here: HealthTree 2023 ASH Articles
about the author
Diane Kennedy
Diane Kennedy is a care partner to her husband, Todd, who was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2017. She spent her career working in marketing and as a freelance writer. In 2020 she and Todd decided to transition from their professional careers to focus their efforts as patient advocates, Myeloma Coaches, and co-leaders of the SoCal Myeloma Community Support Group.
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