Managing the Caregiver Roles: Chef, Chauffeur, Secretary, and More

Being a care partner to a blood cancer patient, no matter where they are in their journey, can be overwhelming. It adds more roles and responsibilities to your already busy schedule. You serve out of love, but there is no denying that wearing all of the hats that a caregiver brings can be exhausting at times. 

Learn insights on managing this role. 

How Can the Caregiver Role Change? 

At the beginning of a blood cancer diagnosis, many caregivers wonder what their role will look like in the upcoming years. The truth is these roles can differ based on the age of the patient, the treatments that they receive, and the status of the cancer. 

For example, older patients might require a ride to their treatment appointments, while younger patients can usually drive themselves. Younger patients might need several reminders to take their medication, while older patients remember to take it with their other daily medications. Many patients benefit from having someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. 

Sometimes, your role as a caregiver can include being a walking/exercise partner. Other times, it can include being an appointment keeper or secretary at certain appointments. 

It could be as simple as picking up the slack when the patient feels fatigued or helping them manage heightened emotional states caused by treatments. If you are noticing a significant change in your loved one’s emotional state as a result of treatment, talk with your cancer specialist about your concerns. 

Tips for Managing the Caregiver Role 

Maci Chance, a blood cancer care partner, shared the following advice for others in similar roles. Watch the video below or read the summary highlights to learn her advice: 

Instead of focusing on balance, go where you are most needed. At different times in the cancer journey, you will be required to spend more time in some areas of your life than others. For example, Maci was a full-time working mom and partner to Tad. During Tad's stem cell transplant, she was able to take a sabbatical from work to concentrate on the mother and partner/caregiver roles in her life. She has since returned to work but emphasized the need not to try to search for balance but rather go where you are most needed. It requires sacrifice, but it is worth it not to burn out in all areas of your life. 

Therapy can be a lifesaver. Having an uninvolved third party to talk about your frustrations and concerns can be incredibly helpful. This is a stressful time, and you deserve the chance to process your grief and worry with a trained professional who can help you. Ask the social worker at your center or your general practitioner for recommendations. You can also call your insurance to see who/what they cover within your network. You are worth finding a good, helpful therapist! 

Don't be afraid to ask for help. It might be hard to let go of the "control" that you feel, but by asking for help, you are taking care of yourself. Perhaps someone else could take your mother to her treatment appointment, your neighbor can pick up her groceries, or your brother can take a turn sleeping over at her house after her stem cell transplant. Asking for help allows you to better serve in the future. 

Summary 

Being a care partner for a blood cancer patient involves adapting to changing roles and significant responsibilities that can vary depending on the patient’s age, treatment, and condition. Care partners are encouraged to manage their duties without seeking perfect balance but by prioritizing needs and making sacrifices where necessary. It’s crucial for caregivers to acknowledge the emotional toll of their role, seek professional support, and not hesitate to ask for help to maintain their well-being and effectiveness in caregiving. 

Connect to Other Caregivers!

Visit one of the links below to learn from and speak to other blood cancer care partners. HealthTree groups we have so far include: 

• Acute myeloid leukemia (AML)
• Chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL)
• Diffuse large B-cell lymphoma (DLBCL)
• Follicular lymphoma
• Multiple myeloma
• Myelodysplastic syndromes (MDS)
• Myelofibrosis